26th-October-2012 How are you today?

Today is the 3rd day after the incident.. and I turn sick..Migraine,do u all know what is migraine?it's some kind of headache that will make you suffer untill you hit your head on the wall yet you still feel nothing..my symptoms are?Every person got different symptoms,mine is 

1. My left eye is blind..its like a blindspot on my eye..very scare you know?suddenly all the thing u see is halve!

2.After the 1st happened,then I will feel dizzy..very dizzy..

3.Then I will feel cold and hot everywhere of my body,its inside temperature,not outside

4.Then I vomit

5. Then My right eye very VERY VERY EXTREMELY EXCRUCIATING(means like pain like 1000times)

6. After these things happen,around 5-6 hour i will recover but my brain behind will very heavy..

It's been almost 2 years didn't happen before..I think is recently I really so stress about my relationship..depressed..the brain keep getting stuck and stuck.. and now the sickness come find me again..I actually very scare dark..due to this sickness..It's a trauma..

Early morning 10.30pm+ I woke up..sms her..and then we chat awhile..she said she is going to friends house to make mocktail,and is lead by a guy,I don't know who the guy,it's her classmate,she with another roomate together..yet Im still jealous..we end our conversation at 11.30am..then she move out to her friends house..after few hours of project they did,she tell me that she want to go watch movies with friends..I really feel been neglet again...I've been thinking,WHEN she willing only to stick with me..no matter how many times I said..I explain..She keep say understand..she nerver show me she understand...I'm tired...

Why cant she even think me more.. Thats what i mean by she getting far and far away...She seems stick to her friends more than me..When?..Why?..When?..Why?..always end up both unahppy..is there ending at there?..

She said to me she will try to pull out the knifes that she did to me..Now this is one of the knifes...she still didn't do it though..So i just curious..Did she know what condition now?...or situation?..or she really don't know?..One action..effect my whole day..Once choices..effect my whole life..

Overall today mood 3/10.. The 3rd day of unhappy..