26th-October-2012 How are you today? PART 2

Around near 7pm.. She online at Facebook and find me,said that she didn't go to watch movie,and changed to shopping because she promised me to watch the movie together with me "Silent Hill". At that time I'm still sick..really not in a good condition..I'm tired..when she went to her friend's house,I'm just lying on the bed..my neck really really pain due to my back brain connected my nerve there..I can't even sit properly..But sudden my phone receive notification that she find me,so I faster wake up and sit infront of my lappy,miracle that is when I see her online I'm so happy..and the pain really gone! But then..she got something to tell me..she said that this will hurt me..since I'm already keep hurting myself already,then let just all the pain come together,I don't care anymore..then my neck start pain again..whenever I'm stress..that's what I get..she said..
 

"You really hold me very very very very tight.."
"I can't breath.."

"can just give me a little bit air?"
"a little bit will do.."

I think this is the last time I saying want to change her..There is no way I could change her..Im telling her..all I did to her just will only make her tight..no freedom..ok..fine..she ask me to be myself..and yet she still saying this way..then what the point of being myself..?It's a lie..It's fake..so I promise her,since she so want her freedom so much..I'll let her..I'll be the one behind always wait for her..I'll be the one sacrifice to her..Let's give her anything or everything she want me to be..I think this way..she will only think I'm good enough..since I'm finally realize..I talk so much to her bout myself..no use..It's futile..she not even understand me a single tiny bit..she just wan herself herself..ok..I will let her happy always..with exchange of mine..maybe someday she will finally know my goodness?..or maybe not..I'm being positive whole night..Don't want to let her feel I'm unhappy or what..I'm ok..I'm fine..untill the end..She cry I guess..and stop our conversation..she say want to sleep..so..I know she don't wan to chat, if the previous me,I'll sure keep asking her..but now I don't..because what she want,I will only say Yes..I'm not sure she fed up or something else..I already did it! I already do what she want me to be! but this is just the 1st day! If she still complain bout me after I change for her..I don't know? maybe I'm still not good enough eventhough I've change for her? Thats decide by her then..because..the word from she say at the 1st part..

"You really hold me very very very very tight.." I knew she don't like me to be this way anymore..ok then.. have it your way..I will be your small little man..

26th-October-2012 How are you today?

Today is the 3rd day after the incident.. and I turn sick..Migraine,do u all know what is migraine?it's some kind of headache that will make you suffer untill you hit your head on the wall yet you still feel nothing..my symptoms are?Every person got different symptoms,mine is 

1. My left eye is blind..its like a blindspot on my eye..very scare you know?suddenly all the thing u see is halve!

2.After the 1st happened,then I will feel dizzy..very dizzy..

3.Then I will feel cold and hot everywhere of my body,its inside temperature,not outside

4.Then I vomit

5. Then My right eye very VERY VERY EXTREMELY EXCRUCIATING(means like pain like 1000times)

6. After these things happen,around 5-6 hour i will recover but my brain behind will very heavy..

It's been almost 2 years didn't happen before..I think is recently I really so stress about my relationship..depressed..the brain keep getting stuck and stuck.. and now the sickness come find me again..I actually very scare dark..due to this sickness..It's a trauma..

Early morning 10.30pm+ I woke up..sms her..and then we chat awhile..she said she is going to friends house to make mocktail,and is lead by a guy,I don't know who the guy,it's her classmate,she with another roomate together..yet Im still jealous..we end our conversation at 11.30am..then she move out to her friends house..after few hours of project they did,she tell me that she want to go watch movies with friends..I really feel been neglet again...I've been thinking,WHEN she willing only to stick with me..no matter how many times I said..I explain..She keep say understand..she nerver show me she understand...I'm tired...

Why cant she even think me more.. Thats what i mean by she getting far and far away...She seems stick to her friends more than me..When?..Why?..When?..Why?..always end up both unahppy..is there ending at there?..

She said to me she will try to pull out the knifes that she did to me..Now this is one of the knifes...she still didn't do it though..So i just curious..Did she know what condition now?...or situation?..or she really don't know?..One action..effect my whole day..Once choices..effect my whole life..

Overall today mood 3/10.. The 3rd day of unhappy..

25th-October-2012 Path getting harder and harder..

Early morning woke up..and waiting her message..expect to be a better day..well! Who knows..she ifnd me at Facebook this morning and tell me that got a bad news from her Dad..Due to our daily conversation,she using Postpaid card and I'm using Prepaid..She exceed her limit of sms with me,total amount of Rm65+ just SMS..at that time I should have think positive and move on,but that my behaviour,negative come find me 1st..

"If not cause of my appearance she wouldn't get that warning from her dad"
"If not cause of my appearance..maybe she will more happier?"
"If not cause of my appearance..anything would not happen.."

Our path like getting harder and harder..the problems keep coming and coming..when there's a problem,we should solve it together,but she never said this to me anymore..she getting far far and far from me.. is it we're wrong?..or I judge too soon?..she seems don;t have her positive side anymore..what our future hold..I really don't know what will happen..

2nd Day of Sadness

24-October-2012 Our very 1st arguement..

It's been 26 days of our relationship..3 times outing..2 time saying I love you from me to her..Yesterday night..we argue due to my attitude for being Ego,Selfish,Envy..She yesterday told me that she shed more tears than smiles..She quite disappoint in me i guess..It's hurt..It's really hurt..my previous..my ex..starting to argue with me the same thing at the first time..I feel like things just like starting to rollback again..keep repeating..but she still could be with and tolerate..listen to me..but in the end,we argue so many times and finnaly she betrayed me and cheat to me..thats how i with my ex done..When yesterday she mentioned..

1. Shed more than Tears

2.No girls with work with you if I keep this kind of attitude
3.Didn't trust her

4.I'm Tired

5.Lost faith in her

6.The person I use to know is gone,he leaved me..

7.You're the one who always make trouble

8.I'm the one always think negative

These 8 things she mentioned..every single word..just like a knife keep stab me..8 times..and the knife is not pulling out..stick in..yesterday is the longest moment i ever shed tears for 1 year+ in KL..because I love her i end up like this..because I love her she turn to hate..For me..as I know my own attitude..This realtionship will very hard..either she willing follow me or she will cant patient with my attitude and leave me..Someone like me really not much girls will like I guess..then I just wish a girl that love me who I am..even my characteristic my attitude..my egoistic..my selfishness..my envy..this is what I think..

"I thought..when I enter your life..you need me..is enough.."

Friends and Love..which 1 more important?For the previous me..I choose friends..actually should be TRUE FRIENDS..because true friends will never leave you..I had my true friends so now I choose Love..but then..I still sacrifice not enough and keep getting hurt...You cant get love without sacrifice..But did I?or not?..

For these dew moment..I bet..for a guy like..sure mood getting down..down and down and down untill time passes and hope..she will take those knife out for me and heal it..I will wait for it..and I have to be double face man..since Im hurt..but outisde..I need to show her Im strong..because she said it..

 "2.No girls with work with you if I keep this kind of attitude" 

" 6.The person I use to know is gone,he leaved me.."

I told her once..

"When the night falls and you're in darkness,I will be your moon lighten up a way for and always shine for you"

No..I never leave you..I just drop into darkness and hide myself...and nobody show me the light to get out..

This is my story..I hope you people out there..don't learn my way..because..I'm always bring sadness to people around them..

14-October-2012 Friends birthday celebration!

This one gonna be very short! :D

It's my friend birthday today! so we decided to celebrate it..normally,not a big one,just a NORMAL birthday!

Our journey start at 2pm,we went to Timesquare eat

SUSHIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! SUSHIIIIIII!!!!

We ate alot! just know to eat and forgot to take pictures! =.= then we sit around until 3.30pm something,we go have a walk around Timesquare..Seriously!
BOYS! really no shopping attitude inside,we not even walk for a 30minute! We all think the same,    "Why don't we just find a place to sit and drink?"

then we all response like

"That's right! so boring shopping!"

Straight away we went to Pavillion,since our dinner plan is in the buiding..then we went to a high class restaurant namely 

"Wong Kwok Restaurant"

Food kinda expensive but it taste good,my friend ordered a banana boat..I thinking

"What?=.= BANANA BOAT?"

and then when the boat came

here it is!

CHEH~~~ haha! xD

We got eat french fries,drinks then afterward..here is the question..

"Why pick a expensive restaurant?" Because! This is the reason!

See the size!!! Its for..around 6 person to drink! we have 4 person only!! That's our Birthday Boy!! :D

and this is mine! Cheese baked rice with mushroom and Napoleon sauce! what is napoleon sauce?its a LITTLE TINY BIT SPICY only,thats it haha but not bad! Taste VERY GOOD!

Overall Rating this restaurant

3 and a half /5 !

If you guys got chance,try it! :D I'm gonna try with my Darling next time! 

See ya!

13-October-2012 Outing with my DARLING~

EYHH~! WASSUP! :3

Well,My life not very entertaining and not as much adventures so far! But recently I've few outing so I'm gonna share it! 

It's Saturday! I and my Darling~ Eh wait~ I forgot to inform you guys that

My little ANGEL~ Now turn into my little DARLING~ Yup! She is my girlfriend now! Yeah~~!

Everything went through smoothly! and Yes!

I Love Her!

So it's actually is our 2nd time outing,well you know~ 1st time outing with someone you love,I mean Her haha! and It's her 1st time time being in relationship,sure kinda shy... Well it's ok! This time she did GREAT! Better than my expectation!

We went to Midvalley shopping mall and then we walk half way,we eat our breakfast at a restaurant namely "Taiwan Recipe" EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW THEIR FOOD SUCKS! REAL SUCKS!
RATING : 1/5 booo!!!

But it's my darling want to go eat there,so as her DEAR~ of course follow her! ^_^ Owh! we ate a

WATERMELON SNOWFLAKE!

Not nice also =.= vanilla taste too plain,watermelon still ok,then the bubble bubble thing,its sparkling juice inside,sour! yiii...

Rating : 2/5

Did u see someone behind the picture? :x DARLING~~~~ 

After we took our breakfast,we went to arcade! We want to get the toy! It's my favourite cartoon and her cartoon mix together in 1!

 

Cute right?! We both want it but, we tried 3 times,FAILED..I'm so noob! Next time I will try again!

After arcade,my Darling say that she so cold..then I didn't bring my jacket..What a bad timing,then let's just give her a hug hug! >~< Soooooo sweeeeet~~~ I so love it!!!!

Then we walk until a perfume shop,infront of the shop have a place to sit,so we both went and sit at there chit chat..The perfume shop infront,have a stand showing the perfume or soap,not sure bout that.

1st rack is showing..Like Me?>> Same as bottom

2nd rack is showing..Test Me?>> Not sure lol..forgot
3rd rack is showing <3 Me!

Then my Cute lovely adorable darling point there and say...THAT 1! Then the rack show <3 ME..then I tell her.. love you! Ain't she so cute?! Arghhhhhh Her cuteness level over 999999999999999!

One more..when she hug me behind,then I tell her,I let u ride piggyback~ I carry you.
She say " You need to carry me forever.."

Darling~ I will~ :) If nothing bad happen between us,Dear will

NEVER

EVER

LEAVE

YOU!

After we chat enough,sit enough,we went to a cake shop,namely "Secret Recipe" we ordered 2 type of cheese cake

1. Marble cheesecake

2,Creme Bulee cheesecake

Well,not bad I can say,Marble cheesecake taste more heavy on cheese,and the tongue feel like marble marble..but tiny 1! This cake is my darling order,she didn't taste this before,and she like it :D

Creme Bulee cheesecake is MY ordered! I watch movie heard of creme buleee creme bulee,what the hell is creme bulee?!Is it nice? If my guessing not wrong, Creamy plus egg..cheesecake at bottom,upper layer is with creamy egg,NOT BAD!

Rating 3/5!!

Here am I :)

 Wondering why I don't upload my darling pic? because,she want a close relationship until we stable.. so,I respect my darling decission! Just wait then ^_^

That night outing was really really sweet.. and the most sad thing is the time we seperate.. I don't want her to go :( I miss her.. She feel the same too.. 

Well! This is my story! More will be coming! :D Thanks for reading! Ciao~!